Tags
Myself and Blue had words this morning. The budgies usually reside on the curtain pole. It is the highest point in the room and allows them to physically and metaphorically look down on me. Yesterday evening I hung a lovely sheer blouse on my wardrobe door. It was very on trend this summer; however it didn’t get much wearing because of my factory setting. Sheer fabrics are not good to wear with a high-vis ladies – the Velcro eventually pulls them to bits (and I am after all, a Practical Princess).
The budgies are not enjoying my increased presence in the flat and they are making this known. I had decided against the blouse and it remained on the wardrobe door. As I was putting on my face, I saw a little blur in the mirror as Blue settled herself on top of the wardrobe. The budgies never sit on the wardrobe. This was guerrilla warfare. I turned round.
“Get down from there Blue,” I said firmly.
Blue looked at me then down at the blouse.
“Get down from there now!” I said giving her the Death Stare. It had little effect. She looked me in the eye then back down at the blouse.
“If you take a shit on that blouse I will kill you,” I said but she still didn’t move. I bellowed and gesticulated like an All-Black doing the Hakka*. She finally had the sense to return to her cage.
Later today I was talking to Bon-bon, the only English PGCEer tackling the course with offspring in tow.
“I am really struggling with Blue’s behaviour,” I admitted, “How are you managing the course with actual children?”
Bon-bon laughed but offered me little advice. Possibly this is because her children don’t sit on the wardrobe threatening to defecate on her clothes.
*Disclaimer – This blog post offers no suggestions for effective classroom management techniques