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Skittles – Taste the Rainbow

As advised by a TES article I have been attempting to sort out my wardrobe. This is not a problem. In fact it is a task that I have particularly enjoyed. What with being a fashion conscious Princess I am rather partial to the odd new dress. If I’m honest, I had begun sorting out my wardrobe long before I even read the article.

A couple of months ago, I was finishing my final primary placement (compulsory – so you know where your year 7s are coming from). One of the TAs pulled me aside and informed me that The Next sale was beginning the following day. I began to sweat with anticipation. The Boyfriend had never been to a Next sale before. We didn’t set off early but ambled along at midday to the huge Next unit on one of the city’s retail parks. When we arrived, The Boyfriend looked a little panicked.

“What are the crash barriers for?” he asked with concern.

“They will have been for the crowds at 5am,” I said quickly, ushering him through the door before he could change his mind.

I was expecting him to hate it. I was expecting him to demand that we left immediately but when he was handed that clear plastic bag he became some sort of Next Sale magpie and disappeared between the shelves. I left him to it and went off to find some suitable School Ma’amish clothes that said “understated elegance” and definitely not “come-and-get-it-schoolboys”. I found The Boyfriend an hour or so later, swinging his new ties happily around his head. Apparently next time we will be there pressing again the crash barriers at 5am.

Aside from buying some clothes, I have also been checking on the condition of my old ones. I have several tailored dresses that say “adult who knows what she’s doing”. As I have been working on a cold industrial site for the past year, I haven’t worn them in quite some time. I fetched them out of the spare wardrobe last week only to discover that they smell quite a lot of armpits. They also all need dry cleaning. I went to get a quote for this only to discover the price will be the equivalent of buying a new pair of shoes from Office (and not in the sale!). I’m not actually on placement until Bonfire night so I’m going to stagger the cleaning so it doesn’t seem quite so painful. I shall start with my fetching Laura Ashley winter coat that says “don’t mess with me – I mean business”.

Whilst I had all of these dresses out of the wardrobe I was interested to note the vast array of colours. I wonder whether I will be attempting to teach my students the importance of literature or “how to imitate a bag of skittles over the course of just one week”. Thankfully I also have some grey and black numbers for when I am teaching serious stuff such as war poetry or Macbeth.

I have also been bulk buying tights at quite an alarming rate. Having reached the age of 26 I have now decided that I mustn’t go anywhere of importance with bare legs. I previously had a self-imposed rule that said no tights or boots after Easter and no fake tan after October. This rule has completely gone out of the window this year. Possibly it is because my desk at work was in front of the door to the factory and I was always freezing. Possibly it is because of the atrocious weather this summer. Possibly it is because of K-Midds influence (and adherence to the codes of the royal court). And I definitely haven’t cracked out the fake tan – why bother with all that tight wearing?

My leaving present from the factory was a rather beautiful leather bag, large enough to hold all of my sensible teaching work. I cried when they gave it to me. This was for three very different reasons:

  1. The bag was a stunning and thoughtful gift
  2. I was going to miss my work colleagues
  3. I was exhausted after a week of monitoring stock for export

I am very pleased with the size of the bag. It is massive:

“Perfect for smacking teenage boys with,” I said to the site manager.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that anymore Princess,” he replied “Unless you’re behind the bike sheds where nobody can see”.

I’m not intending to go behind the bike sheds with any teenage boys. The Boyfriend and “Notes on a Scandal” have informed me that it is simply not wise.